This Sunday

For those who are interested, my Gold Cha Cha and Gold Carousel exams are this Sunday at 5:30pm. I think we are going out to dinner afterwards at 7/7:30. Please RSVP Amy for dinner. Hopefully see ya then.
Luv Shaz xoxox

Some Christmas cheer......

A fallen angel, learning to fly again....

This is the first free time I have had in.... I can't remember. Its Saturday afternoon, I have finished work, voted, and now have nothing to do. Most people are at work, have a family lunch, or are at a comp, so I'm making the most of my alone time to blog. As most of you are aware, it's been a trying couple of months for me, but I think I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As I mentioned before, My beautiful Niece, Chelsea was born recently, and I have received a new car to replace my old one. Work still sucks, but that's never going to change, and as for my personal life, well that's still difficult at times, but it's getting easier, slowly. It's during these hard times that you learn to appreciate true friends, Erin and Jodie have been my angels and I want to thank them both heaps.

It's strange how relationships (of any kind) can alter so quickly. A year ago, I didn't even know Ez, and now she's one of my best friends. I think I talk to her, and spend more time with her than any other person. She's fantastic at making me laugh, and is always available for a chat when I need it. And even though Ben and I have broken up, and our relationship has changed, we still remain close, and I regard him as a best friend also. After all, he knows more about me and my life than any other person in this world, and I still completely trust him with that information. I am going to miss him so much when he leaves, but I know he's going to have a great time. I truly am lucky to have such a great group of friends. When life is hard and you feel like you are falling, it's these people whom help you fly. I love you all more than I can say.

During the "emo weeks" I even considered giving up dancing, which is something that I have always enjoyed. I am so relieved that I didn't. I'm really starting to love it again. I am currently doing my Gold Cha Cha and Gold Carousel exam, which I will be performing in costume on Sunday 16Th December for anyone who is able to come and watch. My exams will probably be around 4ish (to be confirmed) so I thought we could all go out for dinner afterwards. Your support would be appreciated as I still get extremely nervous dancing my exams! I think having monday nights off from dancing (even though I still do reception at the studio) is helping too. Previously, I was dancing 5 nights a week and working full time, and it was exhausting! Now I do reception Mondays and Saturdays, tuesdays and thursdays I teach, and wednesdays and fridays are my nights off. It makes a huge difference, and allows some needed relaxation time.


So yeah, life is getting better slowly, or at least I have stopped allowing things to get me down as much as possible. I have realized that we don't always get what we want, nor are we always dealt a fair hand, but the test is how we handle each situation, and to make the most out of life.

"Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well".

Beep Beep....Barina

Finally it's here. This is my new car :P

Give me something to sing about....

Well finally I have a reason to smile. I became an Auntie for the second time today. CHELSEA JANE ORROCK was born this afternoon and she is beautiful (photos to follow). Also I should be getting my new car at the end of the week (hopefully) although I have to return my hire car tomorrow which is already causing problems..... it might be time to call in on some of those promised lifts peoples ;)
Anyway it's late and I'm at Mum's house still, and I hear my bed calling, so goodnight.

I said ENOUGH!!!!!!!!

Seriously, God, or Karma, or whomever is controlling my life, enough is enough. I have had it! I can't cope with anymore. Life is suppose to be easier than this. I can't handle what's going on at the moment, and I feel as though the universe it laughing at me. I don't deserve this, nor do I want this shit to continue. This is all getting too hard, and even those people whom I thought would be there to support me through anything are slipping away. It's time to give up, in fact, I believe I already have....

Enough is enough!

Let me lists the reasons why my life completely sucks at the moment....

In the last two weeks I have experienced:

Money problems
Heartbreak
Stress
A car accident in which I totalled my car
Injuries (yes I'm still in pain)
and now I have to find a new home....

One more hassle or crisis, and I'm giving up on life!

Nobody Wins.....

It's 3am, I start to cry, I'm alone again, I tried so hard not to fall in love, But here I am. You couldn't even pretend, that you cared if this is the end. There's nothing else I can say, what can I do? We might have worked out some day, but it takes two. So much for your promises, they died the day you let me go. Now you have given me, nothing but shattered dreams, I feel like I could run away from this empty heart of mine. I woke up to reality, and found the future not so bright. I dreamt the impossible, that maybe things could work out right. I kept my mouth shut for too long. Now we're in this way too far, you’re about to break my heart and tear everything we had apart. I'm feeling lost when I'm in your arms. The reasons are gone for why I was holding on to you. I tried so hard to be the one, but now I don't like who I've become. I kept it all inside of me for all this time. I thought that I could make it work if I just tried. Searching for the truth in your eyes, I found myself so lost I don't recognize the person now that you are. Maybe there's beauty in goodbye, no one's wrong or right, there's just no reason left to try. Now it's gone too far, look at where we are. You push me away, it’s another black day, let's count up the reasons to cry. Look what you've missed, living like this…..Nobody wins.

Stolen from Fudgey......

Please give it a go, I am really interested in your comments:

1. The word that best describes me is?

2. The proverbial straw was?

3. My Favourite Song?

4. My Favourite Weather?

5. My take on capital punishment?

6. My life goal?

7. My Dream Guy?

8. A cliche that shouldn't make me cringe, and why.

Post your answers as a comment
xoxo

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everywhere.....

Well I'm feeling much more like myself now. Sorry about the Emo post last time, it was just some random issues that had been fueling my thoughts recently. Thanks to the special person whom made me release that if I didn't care as much as I did, I wouldn't be Shazzie, and for the most part, she's a nice person to be.

To Care or not to Care, that is the question.

I've just spent 30 minutes reading over Steve's blog and comments and I realized that I have a lot of opinions about a lot of issues. This is annoying. It's hard being so passionate about things. Sometimes I feel as though my heart is going to explode. I have always thought having a big heart was a good thing. It allows me to care and respect more about people. But lately I have realized that this isn't always a good thing. You see, when you allow yourself to care too much about people or anything really, you are leaving yourself wide open for heartache. And when you care as intensely about something or someone as I do, the heartache is can be unbearable. I have always been "too sensitive" and I realize that this is probably my worst personality trait, but I always thought it was counter-balanced by the fact it meant I cared. It seems however, that I was wrong. Someone recently pointed out to me that there's no point in caring about the world or the people whom live in it, as sooner or later, it will come back and bite you on the arse. I thought this person was just being negative and grumpy, but after much consideration, I think they have a point.

I've always been (or tried to be) the peace keeper. The one whom always looked at people's positive qualities rather then dwell on the negative ones. But lately I have found myself wondering why I'm bothering. I mean, there are so many people around me whom constantly bring me down. Whether it be because they are miserable in their life, or they can only feel better in themselves by putting others down, or maybe they just don't know how else to act. I have always thought it was my "mission" to help these people. And on a selfish level, it made me feel better about myself too, but I truly am starting to doubt whether the effort is warranted.

Now before you all start to worry or wonder whom I'm referring to, trust me when I say, it's no one person, nor is it anyone whom will read this. This is just the way I have been feeling during the last couple of weeks and I am taking this opportunity to vent.

Bad things happen to good people all the time and I wonder whether this is the universe's way of telling us that life simply sucks. Wow I'm starting to sound Emo.... That's it, I'm going now to find something sharp to cut myself!! That is all.

I love you all...... really I do! hehehe

This is for all of you....
Thanks for making me laugh!
xoxo

Scotty's birthday Night....

I was going to write a blog about Saturday night, but after reading Scotty's there's no point! What a pissa! Go read it. Anyways here are the (G-rated) photos from Saturday night! :P
I "pity da fools" who didn't come, you missed out big time!
Anyways....Enjoy xoxo

Something I stole from Caz.....

Mood: Blissfully Happy, yes I know.... here have a bucket! :P
But seriously, life is so awesome at the moment, it's surreal. Who would have thought that I would be lucky enough to have such wonderful friends whom make me feel completely loved and cared for. I love you all.
Work sucks, but even that can't take the endless smile off my face, and I have the most special boyfriend, whom makes me feel incredible. He is intelligent, honest, funny, kind, compassionate, and completely adorable :P Even after learning all of my dark secrets, he still wants to be with me. He's amazing.
(I LTT U baby xoxo)
Ok.... that's enough, I think I need a bucket now too! :D

Listening to: Fox FM, Ricki-Lee's new song, I really like it :P

Chatting to: A Co-worker and Benji via sms.

Can't wait for: Sunday night! Hehe.... Lets leave that answer there! :P

Nervous about: My Gold dancing exams next Saturday night at Cabaret. I'm performing the Mambo and Paso Doble exams in front of 300 people! So scary! That and the Karaoke Grand Final on Tuesday night. Speaking of which, please come down to the pub on Tuesday and show your support, I'm gonna need it, that and a few drinks before getting up on stage. ARRGGHH!!!

Should be doing now: The mountain of warranty claims on my desk, but hey, I'm here aren't I? What more can they ask for? Hehehe :P

Upcoming event: Scotty's birthday pub crawl on Saturday! RSVP him people!!!! It's gonna be an epic night, and I am foreseeing a major hangover on Sunday... Grrrr. :P

Sorry I'm missing: Sleep.... I never sleep, but even I'm getting to the point where I feel as though my brain is shutting down! LOL I am planning on sleeping for most of Sunday :D

Wish I had: More money! Money is evil but unfortunately it's required to live. I was talking to Scott yesterday and I said I wish I could exchange goods for dance lesson etc. I think the concept of paying for a tank full of petrol with a cha cha lesson is hilarious. :P

What I should get: Hrm... I dunno. A cleaner for the boy's house maybe??? LMAO! :P

What I'm doing tomorrow: Going to work :( and then I have no idea. My boy is going to hang out with his band camp geeks all weekend, and Amy and Jase are going to Phantom of the Opera. I'm thinking of something low key. I need to save my energy for Saturday night. I think I might hang out with the delightful Ez, she's always awesome! :P

Weirdest thing I've seen this week: Hrm... I dunno, the scariest thing I've seen would have been the boys kitchen last night. I have never seen so many dirty dishes in my life. That must have been a record, even for them. Gosh guys, wash your dishes after you use them! Meh.... it earned me two sticks for the dishes roster, which Fudgey kindly added me too, damn, does that mean I have to do them again? LOL! At least I'm off the hook for a while! ;)


Ok well that is all people!
Love to all from the Pong Goddess!
(recently appointed by fudgey for kicking everyone's arse at Wii Pong)
Oh yeah!!! :P

Childhood Favourites

While at Amy's yesterday, Ez, Aimez and I looked up the Ducktails theme song and remembering all the words, sang to it as loudly as we could. It inspired me to download my favourite childhood cartoon theme songs. It's surprising how well I remember the lyrics.

Enjoy!


DuckTails:



Gummi Bears:




Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers:




The Smurfs:



Alvin and the Chipmunks:




He-Man:




She-Ra:



ThunderCats:



Talespin:

"The Kill" the way I hear it.

This is an acoustic version of
Thirty Seconds To Mars' "THE KILL".
It sounds awesome.
It's strange, because when I hear the original version of the song, this is how it sounds in my head.
And lets face it, Jared Leto provides some excellent eye candy and is always worth the viewing!!!
Enjoy :P

The Snow Trip - Mt. Bulla

Last weekend Amy, Rick, Ez, Jase, Ben and I went away on a snow trip. We stayed at "Hillview Cottage" and skied / snow boarded / tobogganed on Mt. Bulla. It was an awesome weekend. Aimez, Rick, Ez and I arrived around 3pm on Friday afternoon, while Ben and Jase arrived around 8:30am Saturday morning. The road trip up was entertaining in itself. Amy and Rick shared the driving, and as we took Amy's car, we were stuck listening to my dodgie cassette tapes, as she doesn't have a CD player, and reception for the radio was lost rather quickly. Although listening to War of the Worlds was kinda cool :P



The drive took about three and a half hours as we stopped for lunch and Amy insisted on stopping at Yea for some Fruit Tingles and a Cherry Ripe.... LOL.
Ez seemed to sleep most of the way, and was making some random sounds as she slept. It was amusing!



"Hillview Cottage" was beautiful. It was a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, fully contained cottage. It had a country theme and was very comfortable. It is located about 14km outside of Mansfield, and the "serenity" was blissful! :P





Friday was spent unpacking, grocery shopping, and hiring the equipment for the following couple of days. Ez cooked us dinner, and then the four of us put on our ski clothes and went outside, laid on the ground, and looked up at the stars. I don't think I have ever seen so many. The air is so fresh and clean up there, that we had the perfect view of what seemed like a diamond encrusted sky. It was breathtaking. Although man, was it COLD!!! hehe.


Saturday morning arrived and so did Ben and Jase. After breakfast we headed to Mt. Bulla. We met up with some friends from MarShere (Angie, Stefan, and Kristian) and the nine of us headed up the mountain. Which to be honest, scared the absolute shit out of me. I am terrified of heights, but driving up on what I saw as an unsafe road was petrifying! I was close to tears a few times going up, and yes I realize this makes me a complete wuss!! Thankfully Benji and Ez held my hands and I imagined a "happy place" occasionally remembering to breathe. LOL

Once we arrived, went met up with another two people from MarShere (Marty and Carrie) and the snow fun began. Marty and Benji snowboarded, while Rick, Amy, Carrie, Stefan, Angie and Kristian all skied. Ez, Jase and I tobogganed, which was an adventure in itself, but I will get to that a little later :P The group separated here, and as the skiers and snowboarders headed up the slope, Ez, Jase, and I went to the tobogganing area.





Tobogganing was heaps of fun, and Ez and my laughs could be heard for miles! LOL. After going up and down the slope for a while, we decided to make a snowman, and well, that turned into a disaster. While trying to find an area to do so, I slipped down the slope, and couldn't stop sliding, that is, until a freaking tree stopped me!!! Man... the collision with the tree was painful, and I have the bruise to show for it. The problem you see, is that the tree was located at the edge of a cliff and below the cliff was a "raging river". Let me describe what the scene felt and looked like from my perspective.....

I was sliding, gaining speed and heading towards a fast approaching cliff. I couldn't see anyway of slowing down or better still stopping. I was trying to grip the snow as I slide, but it was so smooth that this was pointless. I could see the edge and thought, yep, I'm going to end up in the raging river below. This however didn't happen as a tree (which seemed to appear from nowhere) stopped me. I must have slided sideways a little down the slope, as my hip and back made contact with the tree. This was extremely painful, but I was just relieved that I had finally come to a halt. Slightly freaked, but laughing uncontrollably, I tried to get up onto my feet, but every time I moved, I slide closer to the edge. I could see and hear Ez and Jase laughing their heads off, and this was fueling my own laughter, but I was getting a little worried as all I could think of was falling to my death over the cliff. I was stuck, and needed help, so Jason came to my rescue and helped pull me back up onto my feet and back up the slope. Ez, was now crying with laughter and the three of us stood there laughing.


So that is my story, at least from my perspective. On further examination, it turns out that the cliff was only amount 2 meters down, and the raging river, was a slow moving stream which was probably no more than half a meter deep. BAHAHA!!! But at the time it felt like a life and death situation! What a complete pisser.... I'm crying with laughter as I'm writing this! And I can still hear Ez's laughs! :P

Unfortunately the good weather quickly turned into rain and once we got wet, it became unbearably cold, even with the numerous layers of clothing we all had on, causing us all to look and feel like Michelin Men.


The three of us decided to head to the restaurant where we were meeting the others for lunch, to warm up and dry off.



We all met for lunch and warmed back up. Then the others went back on the slope while Ez, Jase and I went home to have a hot shower and get ready for dinner. The others arrived home about an hour and a half later, and then we all went out for dinner with Angie, Stefan, Kristian, Marty, and Carrie.







Driving home I almost hit a freaking Wombat.... what the hell! Lets just stop in the middle of the road and wait to be hit by a passing car. Thank goodness for fast reflexes.... hrm, freaked me out a bit though, but no harm done! Then Aimez, Rick, Ez, Jase, Ben, and I had some drinks (which quickly became a lot) and played some random games, including "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, (Rick's drinking game) which I recall having to take 17 drinks at one point!! WHAT THE??? *Waves fists!* It was a lot of fun. Saturday was exhausting, and so we all went to bed around midnight.

Sunday started pretty much the same as Saturday. We met up with the others and headed back up the mountain.... Grrrr... I HATE THAT MOUNTAIN DRIVE! (Thanks Benji xoxo) Rather than tobogganing, Jase, Ez and I decided to buy a scenic lift pass which allowed us to use any of the lifts and get a better view of Mt. Bulla. This was fantastic, and my highlight of the snow. We were able to stay with the others, and watch them ski and snowboard from the lifts. Here are a few photos.







Jase, Ez, and I then went on the long chair lift for a better view. Obviously snow is white, but it was so pure, that it was radiant. It was beautiful. There was a calm and quiet atmosphere that surrounded the snow. It was a shame that it started to snow, and therefore it became a little foggy, but I managed to take a couple of pics from the lift.





We then met up for lunch and to once again, warm up and dry off. This was a great day, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. After lunch we went back on another lift back down the slope where we met the others and then packed up our gear and heading back to Hillview.



Once we arrived home, we had dinner, packed and was back on the road heading home, leaving Amy and Rick behind. I drove home, Ez slept, and Ben and Jase were having some random conversations that I was tuning in and out of. The whole drive home I was thinking about how much I wanted to turn the car around, and head back to Hillview. It was a sad realisation that work, Uni, and Tafe were waiting for us all the next morning. Real life sucks! I want to go back, and escape my everyday life. Being up there was a refreshing time out that ended far too quickly. So, suming up, my first experience of snow in Australian was awesome, but to tell you the truth, this trip was never really about Mt. Bulla, it was about having a break and spending some quality time with my Best Friends. Thanks to you all for making it such an awesome memory.