Saturday, 13 December 2008

Heading towards 2009

I was reading over a "To Do List for 2008" I created at the start of the year, a list of goals if you like, and I realised that I have successfully done most of that which I listed. There are a couple of things however that still need to be done. One for example is seeing a Drive-In movie therefore... Who wants to go to the Drive-In? I have never been before and I have until the end of year to do it. Comment if interested :)

Sunday, 16 November 2008

A fantastic song!



I don’t mind it
I don’t mind at all
It’s like you’re the swing set
And I’m the kid that falls
It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion’s there
So it’s got to be right
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t mind it
I still don’t mind at all
It’s like one of those bad dreams
When you can’t wake up
It looks like you’ve given up
You’ve had enough
But I want more
No I won't stop
Because I just know
You’ll come around
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

Just don’t stand there and watch me fall
Because I, because I still don’t mind at all

It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
So it’s got to be right,
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t believe you

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Time to Blog...

Wow, its been ages since I blogged so I thought I would start typing and see what happens... So, what's been going on in my life of late? Well, lots really. I have recently discovered how unpredictable life really is. Things happen, things change, and we are left thinking what the hell! But its up to us to pick ourselves up off the ground (or our jaws in some cases) and work through these hurdles. Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change our lives forever. Life is not lying in wait in the future like some ominous destiny, or hidden in the heavens, like a paradise or promise. Nor is it shut up in the prison of our past. It is here and now, it is what we live and what we do. I still believe that everything we experience in our individual and combined lives mould us into who we are, and who we will become. Unfortunately its not always an easy path and the simple sounding sentence “Hang in there” or “things will get better” seem worthless. But as cliche as it sounds, Nobody said life would be easy, they just said it would be worth it! So I'm trying to keep that in mind. On a positive, its times like this I realise how lucky I am to have friends and family who love and support me. Thanks Erin, you have been my lifeline!

Anyways, that's enough of that! This is what I have been up to... I've started a new job at Spectrum Fire in Nunawading, which is ok, and most of the people there are nice, but its nearly a two hour round trip and that sucks hardcore!! I hate driving on the Monash! But meh, its money so I can't really complain. I'm there until about Christmas. The company is expanding and have purchased a larger office complex in Hallam, where their Nunawading, Hallam, and Thomastown branches will merged into one. Unfortunately, the Hallam office already has a receptionist, so there won't be a position for me there. But in the meantime I will find something else, and all will be good.

Onto other news, I had a car accident last Monday, which pissed me off. I need a new bumper. I ran up the arse of someone, so technically its my fault, but the stupid woman missed her exit (on the Monash) and rather than taking the next one, she decided to slam on her brakes and try and make it anyway, so of course... BANG! I hit her :( It could have been a lot worse, and I wasn't hurt at all, so I guess that's something to be grateful for. Still, it is really annoying, I'm completely jinxed when it comes to cars, I seem to attract all the retarded drivers, it must be a curse! And shuddup people, I can hear your laughter from here... I swear I'm a great driver, its OTHER drivers that are the problem! :P

September 27th was Cabaret and my Gold Star exams. My rumba (which was my first Gold Star level exam) was choreographed by myself and therefore I was very nervous about it. I added some crazy figures and an insane about of turns and spirals, but thankfully I managed not to fall on my arse when performing it, and nailed all the dips and lunges etc. I received a High Distinction for both my Rumba and Argentine Tango, and so I was happy. I tried to upload the videos onto here but it's being a Monkami, so if you want to see them, they are on my Facebook. Thanks to those who came and gave me support, especially Ez who's screams were so loud they were heard over the music and are on the video :P


I had MarShere's Aurora Awards on October 25th. It was great. It was held at the Convention and Exhibition Center in the city, and thanks heaps to Benji for driving me there and home again. And thanks Jase for letting us use your car :) You guys are the best :P Everyone looked awesome and the band was cool. I wore the most amazing dress and managed to feel like a princess for a night. Once all the boring awards had been presented, it was a good night. There was about 1200 people there so it was pretty crowded, but it was awesome to catch up with some of my old Ferntree Gully friends as that is the studio I learnt to dance at. Here are a couple of photos.


The Karaoke comp is back, and this time first prize is $1000 ( I SO want that money). Trav, Will, (PJ, for those of you that know him) and myself have made the final, but there's still a few weeks before it takes place, so I encourage you ALL to give it a go. It's $1000!!! You've got nothing to lose! This especially goes out to Brylee, you've got a great voice, you will just need to hang around long enough to be chosen :P We will have to make the final a big pub night with everyone there, and make sure I have plenty of wine before I have to get up there and sing... aarrrgghhh! LOL I will let you know the date when I find it out myself :P

Christmas is only about 6 ½ weeks away (that's scary) how freaking fast has this year gone??? What are peoples' plans for it? Is anyone going away with family? I assume most of us will be with our families for most of the day, but maybe we could meet up on Christmas Eve. Do we wanna have a Kris Kringle deal this year? It would be cool to exchange presents, but seeing as the group is rather large, a Kris Kringle would be a much cheaper alternative and yet still ensuring that we all get something. Maybe a $20 limit? It would be nice to do something with the WHOLE group, maybe a special meal and then go look at Christmas lights or something. We should discuss this and plan something soon. Let me know what you think.

Moving on to some more randomness, I wrote a song, and am trying desperately to write lyrics for it, man that's hard. So if anyone is concealing a lyric writing talent, yell out, I could use your help!Its a piano ballad (as much as Nat and Sean will hate that fact) lol, but its nice and for those of you who will understand this, it has a lot of minor chords creating a smooth, dark sound. It reflects exactly how I was feeling when I wrote it, but it needs lyrics, it has a strong melody which should be sung... c'mon, someone must be good at poetry or even just writing!!! LOL Speaking of writing songs, I finally got my birthday present from Jase a few weeks ago. He wrote me a song, how awesome is that? Hehehe... I love it, thanks Jase xo

Ok, so its late now and considering I have had a migraine for the last 3 days, I should probably get some rest. Tomorrow is Melbourne Cup (WOOT! Day off) so I will see you all at the BBQ. In conclusion here's a quote I heard the other day and thought I'd share it with you all... "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin

Friday, 19 September 2008

YIPPEEEE!

I just got home from my specialist appointment and received some great news. I will not require another blood transfusion, the last one has taken really well, and my red blood cell count is in the normal range again. I feel awesome. I am so relieved. My weekly injections have now stopped and with the exception of the daily medication I have to take, I am almost normal again. The Doctor said to make sure I continue with the treatment/rest that I am having now, and we should be able to see even more improvement over the next month. YIPPEE!!!!!

I need to be careful not to fall back into old habits though. This new found awesomeness I have been feeling is misleading. I still have Anemia and probably always will, it's just now I am out of the danger zone and can live a much more normal life. The Specialist said to still expect off days, and the occassional dizzy spell etc but it should be a lot less frequent. I have to continue to rest more often, eat better, and take my iron medication, but meh who cares... no more injections or transfusions, I'm so happy LOL. Can you imagine having injections almost every week for eight months? Its NOT cool! I feel like a freaking pin cushion :P

I'm also allowed to start teaching again which is great as I have missed that a lot. But I think I will continue to only go once a week, as I don't wanna over do it again. Also as of next term I will be joining the Monash Phil which has rehearsals on Thursday nights so it would conflict with dancing anyway. I have missed music so much, and I can't wait to start playing again. I feel as though it will fill the void that I have been feeling lately. I can't wait.

Anyways, I just wanted to give you all my news and keep you updated. Thanks people for your support, I'm finally starting to beat this... WOOT! It's time to celebrate, bring on Heather's party tomorrow night xo

Thursday, 4 September 2008

This guy is awesome! What a fantastic arrangement of Billie Jean

No wonder David Cook goes on to win American Idol 7, he's amazing!

Thursday, 28 August 2008

The Results are in...

As you know I have had August to increase my Blood Cell Count by 60% otherwise Stage Two treatment would have to commence. Well I came close. My levels have increased by 52% which I'm really pleased about but unfortunately I will still need to have one or two blood transfusions, but the plus side is that they can be administered in a day visit, and I won't need to stay overnight. I will have to continue my daily medication and weekly injections, but I'm so relieved I don't have to go into hospital for a few weeks, that its all good! My specialist said that I still have to take it easy, sleep more, and keep up what I'm doing now, but I should be able to start dancing again next term I can't wait! So once I get over this freaking flu, I will have the first blood transfusion and then we will take it from there. Thankyou everyone for you support, it has meant the world to me.

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Update...

Yesterday I had all my medical tests... Results are Friday, fingers crossed! xo

Friday, 22 August 2008

It time to "Spice Up" the Olympics!!!












Thursday, 7 August 2008

It's time to tell the truth...

It's time to explain what's been happening with me lately. Please understand that this isn't easy for me to talk about as I get very embarrassed and uncomfortable when I do, but I feel as though I'm hiding the truth from you and that's not something I want to do. I'm guessing half of you will probably read this, shrug it off, and say cool, whatever, it's all good. But for the others (especially Benji and Erin) I am truly sorry for keeping the whole truth from you and hope you understand that I was just trying to save you the worry. Forgive me.

The truth is... I am sick.

I have had "Dimorphic Anemia" for the last 18 months and unfortunately my body is unable to recover from it. I have been having treatment during this time but with little improvement. I'm on a course of Iron Injections and Medication and for the most part they make me feel a lot better, but due to a number of reason, I can't maintain the necessary levels needed to live a healthy, normal life.

To explain properly what Anemia is, I'm going to use the delightful tool that is Wikipedia as it can explain it a lot better than I can. I will cut and paste the parts that are relevant to me.

Anemia is defined as a deficiency of hemoglobin, a molecule found inside red blood cells (RBCs). Since hemoglobin normally carries oxygen from the lungs to the tissues, anemia leads to hypoxia (lack of oxygen) in organs. Since all human cells depend on oxygen for survival, varying degrees of anemia can have a wide range of clinical consequences.The three main classes of anemia include excessive blood loss, acutely such as a hemorrhage or chronically through low-volume loss...

This is why I bruise so easily and why they remain for so long. It is also why I feel pain so much, and why the softest of pokes or concentrated hits can hurt so bad.

excessive blood cell destruction, or deficient red blood cell production

This is my main problem, my body can't produce enough Blood Cells quick enough to repair itself and circulate oxygen properly.

Anemia goes undetected in many people, and symptoms can be small and vague. Most commonly, people with anemia report a feeling of weakness or fatigue in general or during exercise, general malaise and sometimes poor concentration.

I have this problem a lot. I am always tired and yet find it hard to sleep.

People with more severe anemia often report dyspnea (shortness of breath) on exertion. Very severe anemia prompts the body to compensate by increasing cardiac output, leading to palpitations and sweatiness, and to heart failure.

Again, this is one of my symptoms, sometimes my breathing can be irregular, often ending in hyperventilation and resulting in me passing out. Time for a confession. This has happened a few times. I have awoken to find myself on the floor from what must have been me passing out. This is terrifying, as I never have a recollection of the event. Imagine just waking up on the floor thinking WTF.

Pallor (pale skin, mucosal linings and nail beds) is often a useful diagnostic sign in moderate or severe anemia, but it is not always apparent.

Well this one is obviously, I'm always pale, that's no secret.

Chronic anemia may result in behavioral disturbances.

Ok, this is one of the main reasons why I have kept this from you. I have been battling depression through this whole illness. My mood swings have become hard to control and conceal. I can often be laughing one minute and crying the next. And Ben, I know you have suffered some what because of this, as I can be hot and cold with you, without warning, and for this I am truly sorry. You have often asked me what's wrong and I haven't been able to tell you, as I haven't known myself. But I assure you, that it's not you Baby, it's my issue, and with your support, I will overcome it. Ez has also witnessed some of my not so finest moments, and I think she was beginning to work out what was going on, sorry for not telling you sooner Bella.

Iron deficiency anemia is the most common type of anemia overall and it has many causes. Its caused by insufficient dietary intake or absorption of iron to replace losses from menstruation or losses due to diseases. Iron is an essential part of hemoglobin, and low iron levels result in decreased incorporation of hemoglobin into red blood cells.

In my defence, I have told a couple of you about this part. A few of you know that I am lacking Iron in my body and need to eat more Red meat and Green Veggies which are both high in iron, but for the rest of you, here's the deal. This type of Anemia is my main problem, and by itself, isn't too serious, but unfortunately when you combined this and the other forms of Anemia I have, it becomes serious. I have been having Iron Injections every week for months. They are painful and often cause me to feel worse the the following 24 hours. But they give my body a iron boost and with the tablets and vitamins I am also taking, they help some what. Ideally, this would be enough to cure me, but unfortunately my body is not able to maintain the higher levels, hence the need to have continuous dosages.

Normocytic anaemia occurs when the overall hemoglobin levels are always decreased. Causes include:
Acute blood loss
Anemia of chronic disease
Aplastic anemia (bone marrow failure)
Hemolytic anemia


Ok, time to level with you all. This is the type of Anemia I am avoiding by a thread. The Doctors are already worried about my Bone Marrow and have explained that if my body doesn't start responding to treatment, my Bone Marrow will start to suffer, and therefore a transplant may be required. I am praying that this won't be the case.

Dimorphic anemia (which is the technical name of what I have) is when two or more causes of anemia act simultaneously. Possible complications: The lack of iron associated with anemia can cause many complications, including hypoxemia, brittle or rigid fingernails, cold intolerance, (yes, this is why I'm so freaking cold all the time) and possible behavioral disturbances. Cold intolerance occurs in one in five patients with iron deficiency anemia, and becomes visible through numbness and tingling.

I often have this symptom.

Treatments for anemia: There are many different treatments for anemia and the treatment depends on severity and the cause. Mild to moderate iron deficiency anemia is treated by iron supplementation with ferrous sulfate or ferrous gluconate. Vitamin C may aid in the body's ability to absorb iron. Vitamin supplements given orally (folic acid) or subcutaneously (vitamin B-12) will replace specific deficiencies.

I am currently taking tablets for this and obviously the injections I mentioned before.

In severe cases of anemia, a blood transfusion may be necessary.

I have already discussed this possibility with my Doctor.

So there you have it, all the not-so-wonderful details that make me a freak. I constantly experience dizziness, fainting, severe shakes, headaches, mood swings, and I throw up at least one meal a day. As most of you know, I had to resign from teaching this term as to try and get some rest. It was NOT my choice and something I hate to have done, but it was that or a hospital visit for two weeks while being hooked upto a drip 24/7. Not fun. So I am trying to "Chillax" more and stress less, and actually give my body a chance to heal, but I'm not doing a great job of that, and it's hard when you work the hours I do. But meh, I'm trying!

Once again, I am sorry for not being more honest with you all about my condition, but I can't easily talk about it, and thought this would be the easiest way to tell you. But with your support and some rest, I'm sure I will be just fine. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I look forward to your comments.

Now... it's time to tell my family :(

Love Shaz xoxo

Saturday, 2 August 2008

I can't wait to see this... BRING IT ON!!!!

Tuesday, 22 July 2008

"Every Human mind is a great slumbering power until awakened by a keen desire and by definite resolution to do".

Thursday, 10 July 2008

Inspired by Steve...

Known as:
Shaz, Shazzie, Shazzie-Boo, Shazzle, Shazley, Shazza

Born:
16/04/1981

Haircolor:
Medium Brown

Eyecolor:
blue/green

SECTION 2 - HAVE YOU EVER...

Fallen off the bed?
Lol yep!

Broken someone else's heart?
I doubt that very much.

Had your heart broken?
Oh yeah!

Had a dream come true?
Nup

SECTION 3 - CURRENTLY...

Wearing:
Black pants, black singlet top, gold wrap thingy. :)

Listening to:
Neighbours and the tapping of my lappy keys.

Located:
On my bed.

Watching:
Computer and Neighbours.

Should REALLY be:
Getting ready for my last Thursday night at dancing. :(

SECTION 4 - DO YOU...

Do you brush your teeth?
of course

Have any piercings?
One in each ear.

Drive?
Nah... :P

Have a cell phone?
Yep

SECTION 5 - THE LAST PERSON YOU...

Hugged:
Benji

IMed:
Ez

Talked with on the phone:
Some dude at work.

SECTION 7 - PERSONAL...

What do you want to be when you grow up?
A good Mum and happy.

What comes first in your life?
My family, Ben, and my friends.

What are you most scared of?
Being outside in the dark alone.

What do you usually think about before you go to bed?
How little time I have before my alarm will go off :(

Did you lose someone you really loved?
Thankfully not, I have a young family.

SECTION 8 - FAVORITE...

Movie:
I have many favourites.

Store:
Don't have one.

Cousin:
What a retarded question!

Food:
Mac and Cheese... yummy!

Candy:
Chocolate, Black Forest... *drools*

Day of the week:
Saturday

color:
Jade Green

SECTION 9 - DO YOU...

Like to give hugs?
DUH! I'm a hug whore! :P

Like to walk in the rain?
In summer

Prefer black or blue?
Blue

Sleep on your side?
Always

Have a goldfish?
no

Ever have the falling dream?
yep, a lot

Have stuffed animals?
Yep, and I have two of Quinnie's. :P

FIRSTS

First best friend:
Some boy from my court in England, can't remember his name.

First screen name:
Huh?

First self purchased CD:
LOL... Savage Garden, shuddup man!

First pets:
Fluffy the Hamster

First piercing/tattoo:
I got my ears pierced at 4

LASTS

Last car ride:
Me driving home from work.

Last good cry:
About 30 minutes ago, I really don't want to quit dancing :(

Last phone call:
A guy at work(haven't I had this question already)

Last time showered:
Just had one.

Last shoes worn:
My black boots.

Last item bought:
Lunch

Last annoyance:
Being sick

Last website visited:
Clearly blogger since I'm blogging and facebook

Last word/s you said:
"Zoran stop humping me, ya horny Bastard" LMAO!!!! (Seriously :P)

What's under your bed?:
Nothing, carpet!

What time did you wake up today?:
7am, sleep in - woot!

Current mood:
Meh... upset I guess.

current food:
Nothing

Current hair:
Plaited

Current hate:
Being sick and being made to quit something I love!

Following in the girl's footsteps...

Currently:
- Stressing about my Dancing exams on Sunday.
- Upset because it's my last night of teaching tonight and I'm going to miss it like crazy.
- HAPPY because I just opened a letter from Quinnie!
- SAD, because I miss him so much :(
- Cold, so very cold!!
- Wishing I could go back on holiday with Ben.

Looking forward to:
- Next weekend's Ball and dressing up.
- Performing in the Teacher's Floorshow at the Ball.
- Scott's party.
- Having time to relax and heal.
- Seeing all the awesome movies out atm.

Hating:
- Giving up teaching.
- Inconsideration.
- Being sick.
- Lack of sleep.
- Having to work.

Saturday, 28 June 2008

You'll Never Walk alone? I'm not so sure...

It has occurred to me lately that even though our lives are intertwined with one another's, they are very independently lived. We all have our own lives, consisting of our own problems, and own ambitions. I have been playing the "counsellor" for a few people lately (a refreshing change as it's normally me with the problems) and it made me realise that we all have issues in our lives that for the most part, we have to deal with alone. Our family and friends are there of course to help us with them, but in the end, any decisions and accountabilities are ours alone to bear. Many of us talk about our futures and what we want out of life, but when doing so have little consideration for the people around us. They seldom consider what impact their future paths have on the people already in their lives. By chasing their dreams, or following a new path, do they even consider those people they are leaving behind? And is this necessarily a bad thing? Would we be selfish in excepting them to? I’m starting to believe life isn’t designed to be shared, it’s meant to be lived solo. We’re born alone, we live alone, and we die alone. Only throughout love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone. But is it just that, an illusion?
I have always believed in the saying “A problem shared is a problem halved” but I’m starting to wonder how true this is. When confiding in a friend and sharing our problems, how interested is the other person really? How much do they really care when the issue doesn’t directly affect them? And when asking for advice or opinions from friends, are we really interested in their responses, or are we only hoping to hear what we want to hear? I always believed that life was suppose to be shared and experienced with the people we love, that this was the way of measuring it’s worth. But I am starting to think differently, I’m starting to think maybe life is supposed to be lived alone. “Whoever starts out toward the unknown must consent to venture alone”.

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

A new start...

So... as most of you know, I have recently been temping at an Airconditioning company to see me over until something permanent comes up. Well, I have obviously made an impression, as I got a phonecall on Friday saying that the company had fired their regular Receptionist and would like me to stay on fulltime. Kinda amusing, although I feel somewhat guilty about it. She went on annual leave for a couple of weeks (that's why I was temping there) to come back to be told that your replacement is more efficient and friendly, and we want to keep her. LMAO!!! So I am currently on a trial and things look good. The Company is called Allstaff Airconditioning and we specialise in commercial airconditioning. We have a estimating, service, drawing, admin, and special projects division, as well as a factory where the units are made. It's a big business with many awesome employees. The only thing that SUCKS about this job is the hours. I now have to get up at 6:30am every morning to be in Dingley by 7:45am... I mean really, who gets up that early, the sun hasn't even bothered to wake up at that hour!!!! So yeah, my hours are 7:45-5pm. It's a long 9 hour day followed by work at the studio, on average I work 13 hour days...I'M BUGGERED!!!! But meh, what can ya do :)

So onto other news, it's medal time again, and I have another three Gold Exams coming up (Swing, Tango Terrific, and La Bomba), followed by the Mid Year Ball. Details for the ball are as follows:

WHERE: MarShere Langwarrin
McClelland Drive
Langwarrin
WHEN: Saturday 19th July 2008
DRESS: Formal
COST: $25
BYO: Food and Drinks

It's a lot of fun, and an excuse to dress up. A couple of you have already said you are coming, but to the rest of you, please let me know asap as it's a ticket only event and I need to organize our table (this includes you Amy, I need final numbers for Rick and your families).

Hrm... not much more to say really, oh except 16 more days until my holiday WOOT!!! I can't wait :D

Sunday, 25 May 2008

HOLY SHIT - this kid is awesome to the max!









Thursday, 8 May 2008

Life is an art we are required to practice without preparation, a score that we play at sight even before we have mastered our instruments

I haven't posted a real blog in ages, so I though I would just start typing and see what comes from it. Life generally has been really good of late. Ben and I are back together, and things are going well. He is amazing and makes me feel better about myself. I love being with him. Actually, it seems love is in the air all around, as there are some random hook ups happening at the moment. Ben and I were laughing about it last night. We were laying in bed talking and we heard both Fudge and Scotty came home from their (separate) "dates" last night... hehehe. It was amusing. Also, Cara is finally going to Bendigo to see her "Robbie" and the already existing couples seem to be happy too. Awww... doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside :P BAHAHAHAA!!!!

Although not all is perfect in my life. For those whom don't know, I was "retrenched" from work on Monday and so as of Friday, have no income. It was pretty harsh actually, as I was called into a meeting at 4:45pm and told I wouldn't be needed the following day. Pretty dodgie considering I have worked there for almost 2 years. Apparently, it had nothing to do with work performance as they are very happy with mine, but they aren't able to make my position permanent and feel it's not fair to keep me there knowing it will never change. They have decided to rotate temps every three months instead, which makes no sense at all, because by the time they have trained my replacement, a new person will start... retards, oh well it's their loss isn't it! I have to start looking for something new pronto as the bills and rent don't vanish just because I'm out of work. Although, on the plus side, I have loved having this week off (paid) as it's been a nice break :) But now it's time to get motivated and find a new job.

Oh... woot. I just got a phonecall from one of the jobs I applied for less than an hour ago, I have an interview in a hour and a half... Gotta go :)

UPDATE: The interview went really well, I have a second with the CEO next week... fingers crossed :)

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

Birthday pics...

Thanks everyone for making Saturday night so awesome, it was great. A BIG thank you to Scotty, Jase, Fudgey and Benji for allowing my Birthday party to take place in their home, and for making the effort to clean up for it, the house has NEVER been so clean. My advice, try and keep it that way, it looks great :)

Anywho, here are some of the photos from the party, enjoy xoxox











Angel gives Buffy a claddagh ring
from Surprise (Season 2)

ANGEL: I should go the rest of the way alone.

BUFFY: Okay.

ANGEL: But I'll be back. I will.

BUFFY: When? Six months, a year? You don't know how long it's gonna take or if we'll even...

ANGEL: Hey... If we'll even what?

BUFFY: Well, if you haven't noticed, someone pretty much always wants us dead.

ANGEL: Don't say that. We'll be fine.

BUFFY: We don't know that.

ANGEL: We can't know, Buffy. Nobody can. That's just the deal. I have something for you. For your birthday. I... I was gonna give it to you earlier, but...

BUFFY: It's beautiful.

ANGEL: My people -- before I was changed -- they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty... and the heart... Well, you know... Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody. Like this. Put it on.

BUFFY: (sobs) I don't wanna do this.

ANGEL: Me either.

BUFFY: So don't go.

Friday, 18 April 2008

Maybe it's time to see the world...

I don't know how else to put this. It's taking me so long to do this. I'm falling asleep and I can't see straight. My muscles feel like a melee, my body's curled in a U-shape. I put on my best, but I'm still afraid.

Propped up by lies and promises. Saving my place as life forgets. Maybe it's time I saw the world. I'm only here for a while. And patience is not my style, And I'm so tired that I got to go.

Where am I supposed to hide now? What am I supposed to do? Did you really think I wouldn't see this through? Tell me I should stick around for you. Tell me I can have it all. I'm still too tired to care and I got to go.

Saturday, 12 April 2008

It's Party Time...

Ok Peoples, here's the plan for my birthday party:
Thanks to four awesome guys, I am having a party at the Boy's house :D
When: Saturday 19th April
Where: The boy's house
Time: 8pm
BYO Alcohol
RSVP me on my mobile or comment this post.
See you there xoxox

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

It's my party and I can cry if I want to...

OK... so for those whom don't know, it's my birthday on Wednesday and I have absolutely no idea what to do for it. I realize that I have left it to the last minute to organize anything decent, but does anyone have any suggestions on what to do???
I wasn't going to do anything, but a couple of people have said I have to do something so your input is required!
What do people wanna do?
Dinner?
Pub?
Movie Night?
Singstar Night?
Arrgghhh!!! I dunno.
Please comment your suggestions.
Luv Shaz xoxo

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

So You Think You Can Dance...

Thank you to everyone whom came to Cabaret on Saturday night, it was awesome. I was really happy with my results, and am extremely grateful for all your support. Here are some of the photos I took:

My little Brother Scott and I

Jase

Cara and Rhiannon looking beautiful

Will

Amy and I

Rick, Amy and Chris

Benji and I before my Hip Hop Routine

Quintin

Cara

Benji

Chris and I

Jason and Cara

Jason and I

Will and Quintin

Friday, 4 April 2008

This is SO cute, although I am aware most of the boys will want to hurt the poor bunny...



Awww... doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy? LMAO!:P

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

Bring on the long weekend.....

It's been a while since I posted a "real blog" so I thought I would put some time aside and just start typing!
Where to start?
Ok, so lately life has been a little crazy. I am working a lot at the moment, both at Renault and at MarShere. It's exam time, and so all my students are wanting extra lessons which I am having to find time for, as well as trying to squeeze a couple of extra lessons for myself with Col. I need a lot more practise before Cabaret! I'm so glad the F1 is over. Renault was buzzing for weeks with all the preparation for it. I need sleep... but finding time for such an event, without sacrificing time with friends and family is seldom easy.

Two close friends (whom were suppose to marry next weekend) called off the wedding on Sunday night. This was a complete shock, especially so close to the wedding, and can someone please tell me what one should say in this kind of situation. I feel so sorry for both of them and completely helpless. Paul was the one to call it off, but it was definitely not an easy decision for him, and I feel so sorry for Rach. She is inconsolable. I guess it was the right thing for Paul to do though, especially if he was having doubts, but it must be surreal for the both of them. Life can change so quickly.

I MISS ERIN!!! But I have been speaking to her and the boys every couple of days. Everyone is having a ball :) I'm completely jealous. Ez and the guys will have awesome tans by the time they get home. She has taken so many photos... LOL.

On a brighter note, I am thinking of starting Vocal lessons again. I have been talking to Jase and Will about it, and I think I will start at Bluenote shortly. It will be fun and hopefully make my voice a lot better, well, that's the plan anyway :P

It's a four day weekend this weekend (yeah for Easter) and therefore I plan on going out every night.... it's time to let my hair down, and drink up :P Having said that, this is NOT an invitation to you Steve Michael, to get me into the state I was in a few weeks ago, that was pure evil... :P So who's up for an awesome weekend? I'm thinking pubbing it Thursday night (after dancing at 9:30ish), and then going to Heather's party on Friday night. I'm foreseeing lots of drinking and dancing :P Woot!!!! It should be a great weekend :)

Thursday, 13 March 2008

RSVPs received with thanks...

Thanks to everyone who has said they are coming to the Cabaret night (Cara, Jason, Benji, Will, Rhiannon, and of course Quintin, Rick, and Amy).
I have organized the table and put in the reservation.
Can I please get the $23 from you a.s.a.p.
The dress code is semi formal, which means a cocktail style dress for the girls, and suit pants and a shirt for the guys.
Doors open at 7pm on Saturday 5th April, with the night commencing at 7:30pm.
I can still arrange a few more seats if the rest of you want to come.
Thanks for you support people :)

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

Can anyone answer my questions? I need answers....

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered ?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity ?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box ?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours ?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing ?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV ?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground ?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat ?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner ?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass ?

Sunday, 2 March 2008

It's Cabaret Time...

Ok People, the date is set. This term's Cabaret night is Saturday 5th April at 7pm. I would love you to come and show me some support as I perform my exams for Gold Samba to "Africa" and Gold Swing Waltz/Gold Lucille Waltz to "The Kill" (yes I said The Kill) complete with costumes. Oh, and for a laugh, I'm doing the Hip Hop performance as well. Quintin, Amy, and Rick will also be performing the Hip Hop routine as well as their honour dances from their exams earlier in the day.

If you are able/want to come and show your support, plus have one hell of a laugh watching us perform Hip Hop, please RSVP this ASAP, as I need to put in a table reservation.

Thanks :)

Thursday, 28 February 2008

System of a Lego!!!


Some people have far too much time on their hands but this made me laugh! :P

Monday, 28 January 2008

The paradox of our lives.....

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small characters, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, throwaway morality, one night stands, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away".

Thursday, 24 January 2008

A new year, a new start....

Well it's 2008 and time to follow my friends' examples of goal setting. This is the first chance I've had to do so, hrm... where to begin...

Moving house. Ok, this one is done, and I'm glad! It was an exhausting process, but I'm happy in my new home, so it was worth it. An open invitation goes out to you all to come visit, wait, after the whole "Corey Party" I should rephrase that to, my friends, are welcome to come visit me any time, in fact I will be having a house warming party soon :)

Finding a new job. I am well and truly over working at Renault, and have started to look for something else. I have a interview coming up for a Office Manager position which I have been told is mine if i want it. The only problem is it's located in Clifton Hill (near Richmond) so the travel time will be a bitch. I still haven't made my mind up yet whether the extra money is worth it. We will see. In the meantime, I will try and find something else in the local areas.

Looking after myself better. For those who don't know, I am anemic, which isn't that serious (except I bruise really easy and badly), and it can be exhausting. When my iron levels are too low I appear pale and get the shakes pretty bad, and sometimes can pass out, but generally it's no big deal. It's normally caused by lack of sleep, stress, or when I don't eat enough iron rich foods. I had to have an injection every week for 6 weeks a little while back, and I don't wanna go through that again. Therefore, I need to get more rest, and learn to say "No" occasionally so I don't burn out.

Learning to harden up a little and not be so sensitive. This will be by far my hardest task. I am the first to admit that I get very emotional and am too sensitive for my own good. I have tried to change, but its hard to break old habits. Plus, I'm scared of changing too much, as I don't wanna lose myself. My compassion and sensitivity is a big part of whom I am and I think without them, i would be less of a person. I just need to find a comfortable medium.

Learning to open up and trust people. This too, will be very hard for me to do. I always try to be there if a friend needs advice or just someone to listen, but personally, I find this very hard to do. There is so much about myself that I haven't shared with any of you, (except Ben and recently Ez) and it's not that I am deliberately concealing information from you, it's just that I find it difficult to open up. I will work on this, as i think it's important to share with one another, plus confiding in Ben and actually sharing the information helped me a lot and took some of the pressure from my shoulders. I was able to work through some of my personal demons that have been haunting me for years.

Travel. I have wanted to do this since graduating, it's just with having to work full time to support myself, it was never a possibility. I really want to go to Europe, especially England, so I can go home and see my family. I really miss them. Now that I have moved, I should be able to start saving and go overseas. Which brings me to my next goal....

Savings and Paying off credit cards. Yes this is the boring and "grown up" goal. Moving and starting a better paying job soon, will allow me to pay off my credit cards and get some savings behind me. This will allow luxuries like holidays to become a possibility. I'm going to really try and save!

Finding time for myself. I am always so busy that I can't remember the last time I had nothing to do. Hence the reason why it's 25th January, and I'm posting something that should have been done on the 1st. I pretty much start work at 9am, go to the studio straight from work, and get home around 10:30pm most weekdays. I work alternative Saturday mornings from 9-1pm and every 4th saturday night from 7:30-11pm. I WORK TOO MUCH! lol. I try and fit in my friends and occasionally my family in the remaining time. I miss the days where I had nothing to do. I am going to try and put aside a few hours a week for me, even if it means just catching up on sleep. Ah, that's sounds nice right now as I'm buggered.

Confidence. Ok, so I have learnt over the last year to fake this pretty well. I am MUCH better than I use to be, as a few years ago, I was completely inside my own shell. I think meeting you guys made a big difference, along with teaching at the studio. I have learnt that everybody has insecurities and needs reassurance from time to time, and this is OK. There are some big personalities in our group, who are always the life of the party, and then there's the quiet, observing people whom are sometimes overlooked. I think I fit somewhere in the middle, and for the most part, its a comfortable place to be. I need to work on my nerves, especially when it comes to performing. Whether it's dancing or singing. Karaoke has helped a lot, and I actually tackled a difficult song ("Alone" by Heart) last week, although I'm sure it didn't sound that great, the fact I tried was encouraging. And as for dancing, well I'm about to dance my last Gold Latin Performance (in April) and moving up a level to Gold Star. I'm over half way through both Gold Street Latin and Gold New Vogue performances, which means I have completed more than 11 Gold exam. Considering I never thought I would find the courage to start my Golds, I am really proud of myself. I still get shit scared before each exam, but I'm getting there.

Experiencing new things. I am determined to do and see some new things this year. I'm 26 years old and there is so much I haven't experienced. I've never been to a Drive-In movie, I haven't seen the sunrise from the beach, I haven't seen Australia outside of selected Melbourne areas, Sydney, and the theme parks in Queensland. I haven't been swimming with the Dolphins (something I've always wanted to), or gone on a cruise, or even taken a real road trip. I wanna experience so much this year, starting with something as small as a sunset. I will concentrate on this goal a lot over the next six months, so anyone whom wants to join in and motivate me, feel free.

Ok, I could go on, but this is far too long as it is. So there you have it. My Goals for 2008. Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

Freakin' Awesome!!!!

Thanks Jase…..




I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like I'm sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel, that is the question
But I forget, you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
Folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
And while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

How much is real, so much to question
An Epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything
When thought came from the heart
It never did right from the start
Just listen to the noises
(No more sad voices)
Before you tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remembering is just different from what you've seen

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
And all I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

And it's the stars
The stars that shine for you
And it's the stars
The stars that lie to you

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

The stars
The stars that lie